Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
