in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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