this beer tastes like vomit already
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
