Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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