we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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