I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
