The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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