Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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