It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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