currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
