This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
