how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
