And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
