Say something about gay babies.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my being single is dangerous.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
