nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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