who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
