If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
