she looked like the before picture.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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