chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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