he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize