i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
