May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
