Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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