You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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