yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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