im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
