I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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