told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
