I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
