he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
