they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
