I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
