I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Nicole vs. Life
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
