Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
