I bet he comes in French.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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