at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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