love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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