im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
