i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize