I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
