How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
