And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
