I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Mom said you looked used
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
