He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We left the knife in your bed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
