Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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