Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
