so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you never un-have a 4some
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
