I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize