Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
