I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
