so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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