so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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