Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
