I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
