She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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