all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
