my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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