Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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