Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
