I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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