ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
